Sometimes we feel bad and just don’t know why. I have those moments pretty often. It’s like everything is going great and BOOM- suddenly I feel anxious, sad, nervous, the whole works. I decided to keep track of when these moments occur and realized it’s often when I’m in a situation where there is some sort of negative energy. What I mean by this is: for example, you are having a great day and you’re on your way to a dinner party at your friend’s house. Once you get there you suddenly just feel anxious. Well, later you may find out that your friend had just fought with one of her roommates or something. Anything that would cause negative vibes.
This past weekend I was at Governor’s Ball, a music festival in NYC. I was having a great day and really enjoyed seeing Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Their music was fun, happy, and the crowd was loving it. Then, we headed over to Kendrick Lamar’s stage. The people standing next to me were clearly on drugs (what else can you expect at music
sunset at Governor’s Ball
festivals), everyone was chain smoking like crazy, and I just felt a bit uncomfortable. I’m also not a huge rap fan, but my boyfriend really wanted to see him. But, hey, sometimes you end up situations you don’t like and just have to deal. Then, Kendrick started performing (not the best performance to be honest) and hearing the constant lyrics “pussy and patrone” “bitches” “mother fuckers” blah blah blah. All that negativity really started to affect me. I became really quiet, wasn’t in the mood to dance, and my mind started going to all those dark places it hadn’t even thought of all day. At the time I was pretty upset and freaked out. I wanted to leave the festival right away and go to bed.
However, once we walked away from that crowd and went to see Thievory Corporation (a great, feel-good kind of band) I could feel my mind losing control of me and my heart taking the lead. I danced with my boyfriend and enjoyed the music and the crowd. The lyrics were happier, the air was cleaner, and the audience members seemed a lot more cheerful than those at Kendrick. I felt the anxiety lift away and my happy mood came back. At that moment I remembered the advice I had received from a few people: when those sudden shifts take place ask yourself “Is this my energy or someone else’s?” The negative vibes from Kendrick’s lyrics, the drugged up audience, and maybe some unhappy people in the crowd completely overpowered me. Once I remembered this trick I used it for the rest of the festival. Whenever I found myself in a pushy crowd or a slow line full of yelling people, I made sure to remember that my energy is good even when surrounded by negativity. This helped me get through the rest of the weekend relatively unaffected by those around me.
Sometimes you aren’t the cause of your negative vibes, but you are always in control of them. We just have to remember that we pick and choose what affects us and how we feel. But first, we have to be able to identify what makes us feel certain ways. Now I know that downer songs, drugs, and angry people can really affect me even when it has nothing to do with me. Instead of going through life avoiding these things, I can just simply let them be and they can let me be: which is happy, peaceful, and kind.
For The Anxious Mind 